


in an invisble wall (don't lock me in)

by safetyzones



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Accidental Confession, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, Friends With Benefits, Heavy Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Non-Graphic Smut, Not Beta Read, Unrequited Love, i dont know what im doing, im just bored and pissed lemme do my thing, its 3 am i aint got time for alla dis, rushed ending oopsy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25838374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/safetyzones/pseuds/safetyzones
Summary: Changgu watches. Watches as Hongseok laughs with Hyunggu. Watches as he takes Dawon into his bedroom. Watches as he surprises Jinho with chocolates and flowers.The more Changgu watches Hongseok, the more he asks himself the same pounding question,Why won't he choose me?
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Yang Hongseok/Yeo Changgu | Yeo One, are they minor, i don't know but the main thing is honggu and hongseok has several other relationships
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	in an invisble wall (don't lock me in)

**Author's Note:**

> hi i wrote this because i'm mad as FUCK at everything in my life so i wanna be sad and write sad shit. also we need more honggu. title is from i wait by day6 - specifically the bridge (i think thats what this part is called) because it's my favorite part and im in love with youngk now that im starting to stan day6 okay byeeeeeeeee

**_THE FIRST BOY_ **was Changgu’s friend, Hyunggu. That was Hongseok’s first boyfriend, and Changgu dealt with his own heart break when it happened. 

“Changgu, can I talk to you about something?” Hyunggu walked into his room one night, he remembers it so clearly. Changgu and Hyunggu have been friends for _years_ , even longer than he knew Hongseok, so it was no surprise to anyone when they moved in together. It was a cozy apartment the two shared, small but comfortable, perfect for two college students. 

“Yeah, what is it?” Changgu looks up from his phone to see the younger boy standing in the doorway, eyes casted downwards. Changgu knows this position, it means Hyunggu is worried about something, or that he’s upset. “Hey, what’s all this now? Why are you upset?” Changgu asks, expression turning into one of worry as he pats his bed for Hyunggu to come sit. “I’ve been thinking about this for awhile, on how to tell you. But I need to come clean now, because I know about you and Hongseok.” Hyunggu sighed, flopping on Changgu’s bed.

_Hongseok?_

It’s no secret that the two of them fooled around occasionally, not being as inconspicuous as they should with the _many_ early Snapchat stories of Changgu sleeping in Hongseok’s bed and vice versa. They weren’t dating, but they weren’t seeing anyone else. If Changgu were to date someone else, they would stop seeing each other and that would be the end of it. Simple, friends with benefits. So why would Hyunggu be asking him about Hongseok related matters?

“I think I like Hongseok. Like, I have a crush on him? And I know I shouldn’t since he’s _your_ best friend who you sometimes, _you know,_ so he really should be off limits for me but I like him anyway and I just-” Hyunggu takes a deep breath because he knows he’s rambling. Changgu rubs circles on his back to comfort him, because that’s what best friends do. “Hyunggu, I’m not Hongseok’s bodyguard. You don’t need approval from me to date him just because we sleep together. You know we’ll stop when you two start dating right? I’m happy you’ve found someone you like.” Changgu gives the boy a soft smile, eyes trying to tell him _he’s safe_. Hyunggu smiles back, bright and big like he always does. 

“So I guess there was nothing for me to really worry about?” Changgu nods, pulling him into a hug. “You knew I wouldn’t mind, you know me well enough to know that.” Changgu replies, leaning the two of them against the pillows, Hyunggu’s head on his chest. “You really don’t mind?” Hyunggu asks again, looking up at him. “Of course I don’t mind Hyunggu, why would I lie to you?” Hyunggu settles down then, the two of them sitting in comfortable silence.

At the time Changgu wasn’t lying. At the time Changgu really didn’t mind. _At the time_. 

Times change. Everything changes, even when you don't want it to. 

Changgu didn’t know why he got an icky feeling in his chest seeing Hongseok all over Hyunggu. He didn’t understand why he felt the urge to pull Hyunggu away everytime the two of them kissed each other. He didn’t understand why his heart felt so _heavy_ hearing Hyunggu touch Hongseok the way _Changgu_ used to. He told Hyunggu it was okay, there’s no reason for him to feel like this. Him and Hongseok were just friends, he doesn’t own him. Romantic feelings were never involved, so why does he feel so betrayed? Why does he feel like he lost the love of his life? Why does he long for Hongseok’s touch like he can’t live without it? Changgu knows the answer, but refuses to admit it to himself. He’s not going to ruin this for two of his best friends, even if he has to suffer. 

“Hongseok is coming over by the way! We’ll be in my room so we won’t bother your studying.” Hyunggu says as he passes by Changgu’s room. Hyunggu already finished his exams and so did Hongseok, leaving only Changgu left with the grueling task. Changgu gives him a thumbs up to let him know he heard him, only rolling his eyes _after_ Hyunggu leaves. It’s like no matter what, he can’t escape the relationship budding right in front of his eyes. Hongseok probably stays here more often than at his own place, Changgu thinks bitterly. He shakes his head, clearing his bad thoughts away to get back to studying. He doesn’t even know when Hongseok comes inside. 

Why does he even have to be here? Hyunggu should know not to invite anyone over when Changgu needs to study, why couldn’t they just go to his place? Did Hyunggu like to make his life a living hell? Did he like seeing Changgu in pain? He grips his wooden pencil with such tightness, it _snaps_ . Small pieces of wood scatter across his notebook, and Changgu gasps at himself in surprise. _Why would he do that?_ He throws the pencil away and closes his books, he’s decided that’s enough studying for today. Maybe the lack of sleep is getting to him, making him easily irritated at his own thoughts. Yeah, that sounds reasonable. 

He slides into bed easily, leaving his music loud enough to the point where there’s no room to think. Drowns out the sound of the room directly next to his. Doesn’t hear the bed creaking, tiny whimpers. Empty space, pure silence except for the melting bass in his headphones. It’s fine, Changgu’s gonna be fine. If he can keep the emotions at bay, if he continues to act like nothing’s wrong, then maybe nothing really is wrong. Maybe then he can convince his own heart to believe that too. 

**_AFTER HYUNGGU_ ** , Changgu and Hongseok never fooled around again. The close touches and heated kisses became a thing of the past, the older boy entertaining himself with _new_ toys. Not that it bothers Changgu, it doesn’t eat him up inside at all. He’s not bothered at all, if Hongseok wants to find someone new that’s okay with him. His heart aches, but if Hongseok is happy who is he to take that away from him?

“Why don’t you have a drink Changgu? Come on, loosen up!” Hwitaek says, bumping shoulders with him. The friend group Changgu and Hongseok share decided to go out for drinks tonight, since they haven’t been able to be completely together in awhile. It’s a nice feeling really, feels a bit like home. Changgu’s not really drinking though, because he’s Hyunggus designated driver who is currently going _buck wild_ with two other friends his age, Yuto and Wooseok. It’s nice to see him smiling after Hongseok, it took him awhile for him to go back to the Hyunggu he had always known. But there he is, Changgu can tell by the bright smile on his face, laughing at whatever the hell Wookseok and Yuto were doing.

“Ah hyung, no drinking for me tonight. I gotta take Hyunggu home, probably those two too.” Changgu turns down the drinks, which Hwitaek shrugs at. “You know, why don’t you just _tell_ him you like him?” Hwitaek asks out of the blue, sitting on the bar stool next to Changgu. The younger snaps his neck at him, eyes open in surprise. “What the hell are you talking about?” Changgu asks. “You know I’m talking about Hongseok. We all know you could _never_ fuck anyone without having at least a little bit of feelings for them. You’re lucky everyone hasn’t noticed yet because they don’t notice the little things like me. The way you look at him, the way you act when you see him with someone else. You know you like him, so just tell him that.” Hwitaek says it like it’s simple, like Changgu doesn’t feel his heart drop out of his ass whenever he even _thinks_ about confessing to Hongseok.

“It’s too late, we don’t even mess around anymore. We’re just friends, he doesn’t want me.” Changgu answers dryly, taking a sip from his water. “Oh shut up! You’re hot, who wouldn’t want you? Now get up, we’re going over there.” He pulls Changgu out of the stool and onto the dance floor where most of their friends are. Flashing neon lights surround him, and Hwitaek continues to push him further and further towards Hongseok, who stands out in the crowd to Changgu no matter what. 

He doesn’t recognize the boy Hongseok’s dancing with though. _Hongseok_ seems to like him with the way he’s looking at him, pulling their bodies closer. Changgu watches, even though he can feel the pain in his chest get more intense with every second. Hwitaek keeps pulling him, and Changgu can’t let go. He sees Hongseok grind on the other boy, who seems to enjoy all of Hongseok’s ministrations. Hwitaek doesn’t seem to notice, only encouraging Changgu to chase after him. 

Hongseok kisses him, long and hard. That’s when Changgu decides he needs to leave. 

He rips his arm away from Hwitaek, who finally gets the memo seeing Hongseok and the other male practically _suck each other’s faces off_ on the dancefloor. “Changgu I-” He starts but Changgu is already storming away, wiping tears from his eyes. He felt so fucking stupid, for even _thinking_ about taking Hwitaek’s advice. He storms out of the bar completely, texting Hyunggu to get a ride from Shinwon instead. 

Changgu finds out the day after from Hwitaek that the boy’s name is Sanghyuk. Great.

**_CHANGGU HATES THE THIRD BOY THE MOST_ ** , Jo Jinho. He hates him more than anything in the world. And it makes him sick because Jinho is _so nice_ . There’s no reason for Changgu to hate him, he’s been nothing but kind to everyone since Hongseok introduced him. He’s short, cute, but a bit older than Hongseok. And he made Hongseok _so_ happy, he lights up everytime he even _thinks_ about Jinho. Changgu shouldn’t be jealous, shouldn’t be angry at a boy who hasn’t done anything wrong. But he can’t help it, he’s always been a bit on the selfish side.

“Can you help me with Jinho’s gift? I need you to get the chocolates from the fridge, I dropped them off at your place last time I was there so Jinho wouldn’t find them.” Hongseok calls him, and Changgu quickly agrees. Changgu knows how much this anniversary means to Hongseok, so he puts his own feelings aside just this time. “I already have the flowers in the car, you can even see me do it!” Hongseok says with excitement, and Changgu laughs. “I’m excited, you know I love how cute you two are.” He’s lying, but he makes it sound so genuine he knows Hongseok believes him. “Thank you Changgu, you’re the best! I don’t know what I’d do without you.” They talk a bit after that, until eventually hanging up. Changgu lets out a long deep sigh, _today’s going to be a long day._

“Oh hello Changgu, what are you doing here?” Jinho asks as Changgu comes through the door. “I’ve got a special delivery for a very special boyfriend!” Changgu smiles at the older boy, handing him the box of chocolates. “What is this? Did Hongseok put you up to this?” Jinho asks, a pink blush spreading across his face. “Well, maybe I had a _little_ something to do with it.” Hongseok says, coming through the door too. Jinho’s smile is sweet, like sugary cotton candy, and Changgu’s heart aches for it to be his own. 

“Oh baby, you didn’t have to do all of this!” Jinho takes the flowers, smelling how sweet they are. “Only the best for _my_ Jinho. Happy anniversary honey, I love you.” Hongseok pulls him into a sweet kiss, like he’s pouring all of the love and emotion in it that he can. Changgu takes this as his cue to slip out the door, leaving silence. 

It’s game over, Changgu thinks to himself. Jinho won him fair and square. He has no chance, they’ve been together for _a year_. There’s no point in even entertaining the idea anymore. 

**_EXCEPT HE DIDN’T_ **.

Jinho breaks Hongseok’s heart unannounced, and it tears Hongseok apart. He doesn’t talk to anyone for _weeks_ , and Jinho isn’t seen in their friend group again. He stays home, having Changgu bring him his groceries. Changgu takes care of him. Changgu is the only one who Hongseok can stand having around. 

“Changgu? I didn’t ask you to come over.” Hongseok sleepily rubs his eyes as he opens the front door, finding a smiling Changgu greeting him. “I know, I brought you breakfast.” Changgu explains, letting himself inside. Hongseok looks at him with a shocked expression as the younger boy lays out _scrambled eggs on the table_. “I was already passing by, so I thought I should get you a little something.” Changgu says, like it's the simplest thing in the world. Hongseok sits at the table, Changgu watching him eat.

“Why do you take care of me?”

“Because I care about you.”

“But why?” Hongseok asks, and he sounds genuinely interested rather than insecure. “Oh, I just do. You’re my best friend, and I want to see you happy.” Changgu says, a small blush present on his cheeks, and Hongseok feels his cheeks go hot. “Eat up though, we have a marathon today remember?” Changgu had brought all types of marvel movies for them to watch together, Captain America, Iron man which is _Hongseok’s favorite,_ Infinity War, you name it. He knows Hongseok loves them, so he immediately agreed when Hongseok asked if he ever wanted to watch them with him. 

The two of them sit on the couch together, snuggled under a blanket. Hongseok’s head is laying on Changgu’s shoulder, it’s nice. At this point, Changgu doesn’t really have to have Hongseok for him to be his. As long as they can still do this, it doesn’t matter who Hongseok is with. It’s okay if his heart races when Hongseok snuggles deeper into his neck and he can’t do anything about it. It’s fine, Changgu really doesn’t mind ( _he does_ ). Hongseok murmurs something into Changgu’s neck. Changgu pulls away to hear him better. 

“Why do you treat me so well?” Hongseok asks. Changgu tries to interject, but Hongseok shushes him. “Seriously, even when me and Jinho were together you still acted so civil even though I could tell you didn’t like him. It must’ve been awkward for your _roommate_ to be sleeping with someone who you used to sleep with. And yet you always stayed, why?” 

It’s a long ten seconds, Hongseok is staring at him with such intensity. 

“It’s because I’ve been in love with you since I met you.”

Hongseok gasps, soft but filled with surprise. Changgu knew this would be a mistake, but he didn’t even care anymore. He can’t keep pretending that everything between them is platonic. It never was, at least not for Changgu. “What?” Is all Hongseok says, looking at Changgu with such shock on his face, who lets out a bitter laugh, seeing already how this will end.

“I’ve liked you since I met you. I liked you when we fooled around, liked you when you dated Hyunggu, liked you when you hooked up with that guy from the bar, I even liked you when you dated Jinho. I never said anything because I didn’t think you were interested in me. It was like you saw me as a friend, but absolutely invisible to you as a partner. So, I kept quiet. You know, Hwitaek is the only other person that knows.” Changgu explains to him. 

“You’re in love with me?” Hongseok says dumbly, and it makes Changgu laugh seriously this time. “Yeah I am, I hope this doesn’t ruin anyth-” 

Hongseok is kissing him, _hard_ . Changgu takes a second to process what’s happening at the moment, the fact that _Hongseok is kissing him_ . Changgu kisses back, wrapping his hands around the older’s neck. He would’ve never thought of this. Changgu can feel the fireworks in his heart exploding, loud firecrackers and _booms_ behind his eyelids. Why did he wait so long to do this?

Hongseok pulls away first, breathing heavy. “I like you too, like a lot? I didn’t realize it until I met Sanghyuk, yet I didn’t know what to do so I never said anything. God why are we so stupid?” The two of them laugh, finding comfort in each other’s own experiences.

“Sorry for making you wait so long.”

“It’s okay, I guess we just have to make up for lost time.”

**Author's Note:**

> *sighs* 
> 
> im just a cat (fanfic writer) lookin for pats (kudos and comments)


End file.
